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Myles Munroe On; Misunderstanding The Laws Of Love And Marriage

Myles Munroe On; Misunderstanding The Laws Of Love And Marriage is an article which outlines the true meaning of love and  the requirements for marriage.

Myles Munroe On; Misunderstanding The Laws Of Love And Marriage

Eventually, marriage is the most important decision every human will make in life. It is surprising to know that, most people’s cars last longer than their marriages. To get a driving license is more longer than getting a marriage license. So even the country is more interested in you getting a car than your marriage.

We live in a world where, people know how to drive, but they do not know how to live with someone. this is the reason why staying married or in a relationship is so tough and many of you are victims of a broken heart. Some of you have even tried marriage and have given up on it, you can’t even dare to start another one because you are scared.

Myles Munroe On; Misunderstanding The Laws Of Love And Marriage

But it’s amazing how easy it can be to buy a car and when it gets wrecked, you still buy another one. However, you don’t mind getting another car because you know how to drive. Yet you can’t take another mate because you don’t know what is right. The difference between the two (car and partner) is knowledge.

Choosing a partner

Choosing a life’s partner for marriage must not be taken without careful and prayerful consideration. You can’t just jump into it, for it is something that has to be well planned and calculated. What people are yet to realize in this life is, you don’t have be married to be happy. Marriage is a choice, not a command, not a prerequisite for living. There’s no place in the bible where God commanded us to be married.


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Love is a force generated by a decision. Love has no feeling. If God was acting according to how he felt about us or the things we did to him, then we would have no mercy.

love is a commandment

Moreover, true love has no feelings, it’s a choice. Feelings are chemical and chemicals change very 5 seconds. Love is a choice. Love is an act of the will. We keep thinking that love is an emotional concoction deep in the soul but that is a lie. You can decide to love your enemy. Love is a command and you obey a command out of a will.

When Jesus said love those who spitefully use you or hate you, he was giving a command.

Myles Munroe On; Misunderstanding The Laws Of Love And Marriage

It is a choice and that is the kind of love you need for your marriage because the person you got married to, will be the enemy at least twice a day or more. People will do things in your life you have to look over.

Love is a debt you owe

love is really a law, laws have no feelings. love is a no. Sometimes you will feel like running from the red light but law will tell you to stop.

More so, you can’t get your feelings in the middle of discipline. That is, if you love your kids, you can’t afford to not discipline them because you feel they might get hurt.

God never chooses your mate. He is too smart to do that because he knows you could blame him when it doesn’t work out. However, he gave you access to knowledge. He gave you to pastors, the word, his anointing for discernment, his spirit for guidance. Make full use of all the tools God has given you to find your partner.

Additionally,

love is not the foundation for marriage

That is, don’t get married to some one because you are in love.

Love does not make marriage work. Don’t be fooled by that feeling you think you have for someone.  Loving someone should never be a reason for you getting married. You can love something but you don’t know how to use it. What keeps it is knowledge.

If you are divorced today, it means you were once in love. But you gave up because other things came into the relationship that were bigger and stronger than the love you had for the person.

Besides, successful marriage is a result of the application of marriage not the exchange of love. Loving someone doesn’t make them the right partner.

Myles Munroe On; Misunderstanding The Laws Of Love And Marriage

Before marriage, you should get curios about understanding what it takes to live with a partner. Understand how to manage emotions, anger. Handle unfaithfulness, brokenness. Get to know what it takes to be a woman or a man. Learn so many things about the other person.


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Nowadays, individuals don’t have the knowledge to fix situations. It is important to get understanding. My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

Ignorance is a choice, you cannot reject something that was not available. Knowledge is available but most people just choose to reject it.

God said because you reject knowledge, he will also reject you

Ignorance is generational, what you don’t know is transferred into your kids. So, if you can’t handle marriage, then your kids too may just follow on that same path. Go to seminars, counselors for your children and grand-children.

Many of us are tired of trusting people. That’s because we are very unrealistic about love. We are ignorant about what love is.

Myles Munroe On; Misunderstanding The Laws Of Love And Marriage

In that light,

 There are 4 kinds of love in the bible namely;

  • Phyllida: brotherly love
  • Eros: erotic love
  • Farrago: friendship love
  • Agape: divine kind of love. The love from God

Agape is the most important because it is the kind of love that forgives a person who commits adultery. The kind of love that overlooks your errors and sins yet loves you anyway.

You can never forgive any one when you are dealing with the other types of love. In effect, the only way to get back after brokenness, you have to get to a point where you do what God did. While we yet sinners Christ died for us.

Every other relationship will be temporal. Agape is in every believer and follower of Christ so use it.

Also,

Love is not emotions

Emotions are very dangerous. The excitement you feel when you think you love someone is adrenaline not love. Love is a chemical. And if you fall in love/ adrenaline/ excitement, and it falls out, it is evident that you are going to look for another person and get the same feelings then the circle continues. People confuse adrenaline with love.

You have to choose love and choose to love. Love is the response to understanding the value of another thing. If you value something, you have same level of endearment.

If you buy something cheap you probably won’t treat it with respect. But if you spent a huge sum of money on something, you probably will value it and guard it jealously.

That’s why God loves you and he sees himself in you. He loves himself so much, so he values you so much.

When you pay for something, that’s the value you put on that thing. That’s how you measure value. When God loved you, he paid a price for you. That price was his image on the cross. So, if someone really loves you as they claim, you measure it by what they are willing to give up for you.

Myles Munroe On; Misunderstanding The Laws Of Love And Marriage

Can you meet someone who can do that? Someone who can give up all the men for you or all the women for you?

This woman you claim you love, what did you cancel for her? Did you cancel your mother for her? You have made a choice to stick to her, are you doing just that?

Nonetheless, getting married to someone doesn’t bring two families together, it creates a third family. People get stocked in family drama because they think they should fit into their husbands or wives’ family. But no, you get married to create your own family. Mother’s especially should learn to stay out of their children’s business.


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Nevertheless, you chose love because of your integrity. It is a commandment, so choose to obey it.

Lastly, you can’t equate love with sex. Sex is not love. Love is not a gift, it is a fruit. Hence, be careful and study about love before you wink at someone.

Myles Munroe On; Misunderstanding The Laws Of Love And Marriage

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