Toxic love; Own Your Happiness
I gave you everything, and it still wasn’t enough
You made me feel like I was nothing, you made me believe that I was difficult to love
And I like a fool, I kept trying until it became too much.
I got in so deep, that I lost who I was. Toxic love it was
I knew it wasn’t right. But no matter how things got, I knew I had to try.
I told myself it would be different this time, I couldn’t give up.
Constantly battling whether this was lust or love. Because it it’s love, then why was it so messed up?
I would treat myself as nothing, yet to you I gave so much.
Then you go and break my heart, tell me that you are sorry and that this is a fresh start. And like a fool, I’d wait.
Wait for the day you would make another mistake. A part of me wants to speak up, but I hesitate. It’s like you controlling me, you’ve infected my brain.
How do I escape when you have become part of my dna? Even when you gone, I’m still the one left with all the pain. He said, he’s sorry.
He told me he didn’t mean it and that he would change. And I chose to believe him when he said, he won’t hurt me again.
I’m not expecting you to understand, go ahead and judge me. But if I lose him, I’ll have nobody. Do you get that? Who wants to live a life where they are alone and empty? I need him just as much as he need me. Fate says he completes me.
That’s how it works, we just keep going until one of us gets inevitably hurt. So yes, I chose to stay.
Go ahead and call me weak, I’m not expecting you to understand, just know that leaving someone is not that easy. He’s gotten into my mind and without him, I’m paralyzed. To the point where I force myself to believe him when he apologizes even though I know it’s all lies.
Every waking moment I cry, I’ve gotten used to it. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore, I’ve become numb to it. I’ve become sore. And in some sick twisted way, he’s my only cure. What can I say, I’m incredibly flawed.
Love is not as blissful as portrayed on social media and fairy tail movies. Sometimes it’s lot of pain and sacrifices. You keep pushing until you bleed.
But truth is, find someone who is worth bleeding for. sometimes this is how loves creeps through her system and infects us with the disease of co-dependency. Love is beautiful and magical but it is also mixed with pain and struggles.
However, don’t let yourself get entangled in relationships that make you lose your soul. If you find yourself losing your essence, and pouring out your spirit into something that can barely make you confident and secure, then quit.
Until we learn to be happy with our own company, we always feel lonely even when we are in relationships. Never give someone that much power over you. You alone are responsible for your happiness and your love.
Toxic love is very dangerous. Co-dependency can ruin your self-worth. Run far away from these traits and find someone who raises your standards not lower them. stay true to yourself and when the time is right, the right person custom made for you, will find you.
Cinderella teaches us that; we would find a prince who would take our rags and give us a ball gown. But in real life, you have to become your own prince. Wash your own rags and make become the princess you’ve always wanted to become. Save yourself, become your own hero. Write your own beautiful love story.